I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
there's still a lot i don't remember, like why my iphone's nailed to your wall
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
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