When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
i wanna pet his head its so fluffy. were gonna open a petting zoo
I tried to convince the Lobo Card people to take my pic with my sunglasses on because I will probably always be this hungover.
stef broke her leg trying to vault over the coffee table. these olympics drinking games are going to fucking kill us
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I'm closer to stabbing a fork in my neck than finishing this resume.
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I think people are normalizing furries
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Randomize
