i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
If I wasn't stoned and knee deep in cheese and crackers I'd help.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Have you ever just sat there and thought about past penises?
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
Randomize
