I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
Great, now justin bieber is gonna sing a song about chile
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
i would rather have had this happen at a time when i wasnt tripping out on shrooms
The day i have a fb album titled " I have become a townie" you can shoot me in the foot and tell me to get my life together
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
That shit was hard as fuck. It felt like a mountain entering my vagina.
Why would you get kicked out?
Well, an overweight man is currently not wearing a shirt. Or pants. And is getting in touch with his inner Chippendale. You can probably fill in the blanks.
mate iv just woke up in the garden. either help me inside or bring out my vodka
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Randomize
