walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
we found him. outside on the balcony, sitting on a bucket, with his pants off, swearing he was'nt taking a dump
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
He sent me a text from across the party that said "your sexy." I just couldn't.
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
