The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
My liver is preforming stress tests.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Turns out that fresh outta jail dick is quite something.
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Randomize
