I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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