she was so not down for the gang bang
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
People were stuck in the elevator screaming and freaking out. I banged on the door and yelled, "fire depart!" They got excited and then I ran away. lolz
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Since when do you jog?
Since hot shirtless guy that lives across the street jogs
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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