3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
Its like everytime i see you, my vagina gets a heartbeat.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Aren't you proud to know somebody who texts you "manifold facade" while dumping frozen colada mix into a blender of rum
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
I mostly blame me being such a miserable fuck on the fact that I was born on a Monday.
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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