I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
They thought I was the paid stripper pretty much, and a lady tried to set me up with her nephew and then wanted to get my number for lesbian daughter... A typical night for me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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