He told me I remind him of his sister...
Was this before or after you did it?
before... I mean, it's been a long time. I just tried not to think of it during.
i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Randomize
