now i know why i became what i already was.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
I showed remarkable dignity in such a compromising situation. Except I came off as sort of a blue ball giver.
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
Yeah, but there's no serving sizes for dick.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
There's an old guy having a conversation with his penis in the bathroom right now.
Dude, you punched me in the face bc I wasnt ordering your tbell fast enough. Then when you got it, you threw it out the window bc, and I quote, "OBAMACAREEEE!"
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Being severely attracted to someone you find is your cousin just made my list of top 10 worst feelings
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
