i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I may be Daddy's little princess, but doesn't mean I can't be the blowjob queen.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
Birthday are for suffering. TAke some tylenol pm and day-drink tomorrow
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
