So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
She rolled over this morning and asked "did you refer to my vagina as splash mountain last night? "
I just stood next to my childhood self. Fuck, I'm really stoned...
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
We took your mom out drinking and we wound up winning 18 games of Flip Cup. You have amazing genetics.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Sorry. I was preoccupied thinking about penises
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