When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Stop giving guys blow jobs because you're no good and it's messing up my sex life. Word gets around & then they think it's me and don't believe me when I say I have a twin. Learn to stuck dick right.
Still not sure if my open-bar-week-long-trip to Cuba is the best idea as a congratulations-for-my-sober-february-challenge. My liver might just explode and give up.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
This weekend was amazing, 4 confirmed pukings, 2 cops, 3 hookers, one photographed t-bagging of the groom, and a night in an illegal gambling house.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
Randomize
