we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
this just has baby written all over it
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Every time I there's a break up, I'm left with an animal. That's it. No more mutual pets.
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
Was I drunk or did Alex not show up with 100 rainbow Jell-O shots?
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Alcohol and IMDB don't always mix with 100% accuracy
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
Randomize
