i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
At home depot. Final room inspection is tmrow, gotta paint over the puke stains
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Randomize
