Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
billy ray cyrus is narrating a show on the history channel. my iq cant decide whether to go up or down.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Check your mailbox. I left a "sorry I didn't have time to suck your dick today" consolation gift.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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