So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
drinking out of a sandbucket again
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
Seriously. There are at least 10 other people drinking at the bar with me at 10:40. Im justifying it with the fact that I've been up since 5am.
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
I told him I liked how shrimp feels in my mouth, but I don't actually like eating it. Turned out to be the most awkward way to say that I wanted to suck his dick.
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
I'm getting married
To pizza
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
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