If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
So I think my aunt and her one legged boyfriend are getting it on in the next room. Traumatized does not even begin to describe what I am right now
Talking to friends parents while buying all the things needed for Jell-O shots. classic
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
HE'S LICKING FROSTING OFF OF THE EIGHTEEN YEAR OLD BOY
How ironic... opening your legs for closure.
You were arrested in a tiara again... maybe you shouldn’t wear one.
Randomize
