I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
thank god my boss can't smell the tequila on my breathe over the phone.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
He was awful. Hubby's was apparently epic. I suck at swinging.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
No actually you're a pro. You puked on the cab ride, and managed to completely contain it in your purse. the cabbie was even impressed.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize
