they need to just BURY HIM!
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
You crawled into bed with Bob and started whispering to him about produce.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
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