naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
I think I've hugged the toilet more times than I've hugged my own family members.
the trail of clothing leading from the bed to the door was in the exact order i needed to put them on. underwear near the bed shoes by the door.
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Two options. One, you listen while I freak out. Two, we have mediocre to awesome car sex and don't talk. Either way, I'll be there by 7
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
It was his birthday and he drunkenly offered me Portillo's and diamonds in exchange for a snap chat of my boobs. Even sober it seemed like a good idea at 3 in the morning.
I feel I must have sex with him first to fully decide where my vagina belongs.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
One door closes, one man cooks for you through the next open door
He literally ejaculated and I hit Uber
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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