i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
If someone cant be won over with guacomole and tequila they are not worth your time.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
You crawled through a doggy door 5 times for a shot if cheap vodka.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
If you already knew specifically that I was smoking a bowl in my remodeled bathroom AND THEN still wanted to initiate sexting, please proceed to the altar and marry me this instant.
Depending on which video of him streaking you watch, you can see me passed out in the front row.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I just thought I should tell you that I always know what you are doing. Everywhere. Every time. -Your loving Mother
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