SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
I have a surprise for you guys
What is it?
A MOTHER FUCKING SURPRISE DON'T ASK QUESTIONS
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
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