girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
her roommate was in the bathroom for over an hour so i volunteered to take the dog out and i shit in the bushes
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm dealing with this like an adult, cupcakes and beer.
Now he's crying and asking for 'the cameras' to come out. The one cop is laughing
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
