When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I'm a gay man planning my brothers bachelor party, and he choose someone else to be his best man. I hope they like appltinis and gay clubs. Bastard.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Maybe you should slow down tonight...
KINGS DON'T NEED ADVICE FROM LITTLE HORN-BILLS FOR A START
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
Randomize
