im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
If I don't come back from Italy with aids I did somethign wrong
she puked ON me while she was on top, worst holiday hookup ever
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Im four hours late for work AND i pissed my bed
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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