Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
Spotted: Pepto Bismol pink Scion with Ed Hardy sticker on front window, air freshener, and seat covers. Total Douchette Mobile.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
I love that we get drink and call each other crying. It's kind of our thing.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Right when I walked into the party my boyfriend stood up and yelled, "HEY TITS, GET ME A BEER!"
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
maybe almost giving yourself a concussion counter acts a hangover
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
Randomize
