bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
My spanish teacher discovered you can watch spanish music videos on youtube. Guess what were doing in class today? Michael Scott Spanish 101
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
She was the shot vending machine at the party. But free.
If you can find a Canadian Lesbian to have pity sex with me, let me know.
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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