thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
I just found out my mom named me after her fake ID from college...
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
It took him an hour to realize I wasn't this "Sarah" girl, and by then he was already crying and eating pizza rolls.
The assistant vp has a bottle of wine on his desk & I have a feeling my boobs will be making an appearance today.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
OMG OMG OMG DID YOU KNOW THERE ARE MINI CHOCOLATE COWBOY HATS THAT MEN CAN BUY FOR THEIR PENISES?
Drinking Fireball means never having to say you're sorry. Unless its at you're arraignment.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
Where are you on a scale from one to wasted?
Like alphabetically I'd say a v
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
