p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I now have scissors specifically made for cutting dicks off.
Randomize
