Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
yeah the little voice in my head screaming YOU NEED TO GET LAID eventually grew legs and started kicking me so to avoid brain damage i had to fuck him
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I'm just blindly tossing my dick into whatever comes my way.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize