You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
We were fucking while the tv was on, and one of those animal cruelty commercials came on. We then switched over and started doing it doggy style. It was then that I realized that I'm going to hell.
I'm on acid right now in three feet of snow. I NEEEED YOOOOUUUU
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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