i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
Randomize
