apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
my lips still taste like vagina
so you liked breakfast?
ehh, still wish we woulda went to IHOP instead
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Just to prove a point, she called and ordered a pizza 10 min before she ordered the blow and it still got here first. I may never leave LA.
I told you!!! And that is why he's the drug dealer to the stars.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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