I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
Ill pay your DUI fine if you just come see me nooooowwwww
no. its 2:30am and im not going to jail for a booty call
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
who dressed up as a cop at your party???
idk I have to check. Why?
he gave me the best strip search of my life. FIND HIM.
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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