Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
I felt the need to set off fireworks in the living room while they were having sex upstairs. Yes, they quieted down.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
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