A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I hate how you keep a running list of people who have seen me naked.
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I swear, when I turn 21 in four months, I'm going to carry a flask around with me, and make a drinking game out of everything.
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
Randomize
