Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
Your favorite bartender is back from prision
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
I'll just tell her I'm here with you picking out a buttplug for her to say "I'm sorry".
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
At least I made out with him before he made out with that dog...
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
I currently don't understand fingers.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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