Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Woke up on my sisters couch, and it was like the start of a Terminator movie,my brother in law was passed out on the floor naked in the fetal position. We now call him Arnold. It was an epic night.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
According to Joseph, last night I crawled into bed and told him to pretend I'm his French maid, and then started speaking with a German accent, and referring to his manbits as "ze greatest Weiner schnitzel I'd ever seen". Basically, last night was a roaring success.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
The end of the friendship was inevitable. I hooked up with her cousin and forgot to mention it to her
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