Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Whore.
I was being facetious
Don't try to hide behind big words.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
I no longer question where these bruises come from... between the strip pole in the living room, the slipnslide in the hallway and our constant level of intoxication I will always be bruised...
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
... thanks for letting me perform minor surgery on myself last night.
I figured if you were smart enough to sterilize with vodka, you could handle it.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Use "feeling words"
Yay
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
She yelled Carpe Diem when she orgasmed. Is it too early to marry her?
Randomize
