what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
i'm sure the inside of her vag looks like Normandy circa 1944
and yes i had to double check that date for that joke to be accurate
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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