you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
Come back. Shots need mouths.
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
Randomize
