Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
I mean there are real risks associated with having unprotected sex, but I don’t think I need to worry about a ghost possessing me and having unprotected sex while using my body
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
Randomize
