well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
Hot Italian guy literally came into my logic class just to get my number to study with me and left. America.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
He asked if I could ever take him seriously, I told him I just like his doggy style.....needless to say I snuck out after an awkward cuddle session... I wont be calling him at 2 am anymore.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
