I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
we somehow managed to fit a llama, a stripper pole and a hayride all into the same day.
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
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