I am now Facebook friends with Donkey Lips from Salute Your Shorts
I'm missing my class because I'm not done with my beer
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
Making a drinking game out of jeopardy does not mean you studied..
We left the window open. My vibrators funeral is at 2ish.....bring a side dish or some shit.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
