You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
and the award for most disgusting thing ever done on my couch now officially goes to you! Congratulations, you won the couch...I can't even look at it anymore.
No he didn't understand the sequence...then I started texting him these texts with vagina strategically spelt correctly in jumbles of letters.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
the manly guy you want to date so badly? he's at the club. as a drag queen. wearing higher heels than you own. think about that.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
