I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
I want your cock.
All we are is dust in the wiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnd
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
Mom, I'm really sorry you saw my naked ex-boyfriend in the living room this morning. I can explain....but I'd rather just stick with this apology and be done with it
The porch is breathing.
STAY OUT OF MY SHROOMS YOU CUNT
Sometimes I wish I lived alone because there would be no one to judge me if I wanted to have whiskey and popcorn for breakfast.
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
Randomize
