i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
Just got a blow job while taking my online quiz. How is life in the dorms treating you?
Yea, I had a chaperone thankfully. I'm in the fetal position attempting to eat captain crunch now.
I told you, we're just gonna get ripped and light sparklers
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
I was so drunk I asked my mom if she had always been my mom or if it was someone else for a while
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
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