I am puke
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Just got home and found him passed out with his ass stuck in a Rubbermaid garbage can. He must have been like that for a few hours
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Going through my bras is like traveling back in time through my past hookups and relationships....
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
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