NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
it glows. i had to have it.
He completely dissapeared at the baseball game. We found him passed out at the hotel three hours later with souviner photos of himself at the top of the Sears Tower.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
He better not be in your backpack
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I was gonna drive but when i tried to use telekinesis to get my keys, I knew I shouldn't be driving
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
Randomize
