Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
So..he has a girlfriend BUT she rarely writes on her wall and is only in 5 of his 371 tagged photos and her default pic is her with some other dude. It cant be serious
Oh my god you need to get off of facebook.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Sometimes I envy you, when I'm not praying for your soul.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
He stood up through the sunroof yelling "CHOCOLATE MILK BITCHESSSS!!!! YOU AIN'T WORTH SHIT NOW!!!" the sad part is he wasn't even drunk yet. I worry about him sometimes.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
Randomize
