I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Guy, there will be accountabilities this weekend that you will need to respond to, or else.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
Randomize
