I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
I got us chalkboard mugs. Now whoever comes home with us can feel comfortable in the morning! I am too considerate to my one-night stands...
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
Randomize
