I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
I have got to lose weight!! Apparently no one wants to fuck a fat chick with herpes.
Please, do not let 'babydaddy' catch on as your petname for me.
So... i mean if they do have cameras in his apartment buildings pool room atleast we gave them a little show.
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
As we're eating sushi she goes I just want to get a disease so my mom can take care of me... Great first date
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I'm sorry I peed on your everything.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Everyone is coupling up and I'm just excited the bartender gives me enough attention to order more shots.
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
Have you ever realized how weird it is to think that you've fucked someone and don't know what their handwriting looks like?
Randomize
