I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I just said "okay we have 20 minutes to get each other off, ready... Set... Go!" and he picked me up and threw me on the bed. I almost came just from that.
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
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