North Korea, Best Korea!
I just spilled my beer all over my laptop.. this is what i get for actually trying to do homework
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I want you to know that the guy who peed in your bed got fat.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
