If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
We're doing the donut challenge later. How many can we fit on his erect penis. Needless to say we get along well.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
Get your clothes on you are our DD for the night. The usual three way payment
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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