im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
Writing a love song to planned parenthood. what rhymes with "don't have AIDS"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
He brought me breakfast in bed after our one night stand. Beer and Cheerios I may come back to this place
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
All you need is a handful of lube and an open mind
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
