I just had one of those nervous system things in my thumb...I'm pretty sure I have cancer.
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
just saw a man remove a wedgie from his lady's ass. who says chivalry is dead.
we live in such a classy society.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
Just found my glass of wine on top of the litter box. Every argument ever is invalid.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
Randomize
