so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
Why must guys tell girls who are a little bigger that "they like a girl with meat on her bones?" Yeah needless to say he went home alone
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
