i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
mark tries to be a total badass to make up for the fact that he's a poor man's pete wentz
I had a dream that chipotle was out of burritos... Was more like a nightmare.. Gotta go make sure it wasn't real now
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We decided to go to McDs, but we only had a few minutes to make it to breakfast. We were sprinting full speed ahead when she tripped and you just yelled 'LEAVE HER' and kept your course.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
I'm walking home wearing Kermit the frog footie pajamas, carrying a monogrammed shot glass set with my name on it. It's fucking Christmas!
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
That sad moment when the drawer I used to keep condoms in now has poptarts in it..
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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