I feel like I'm in dance class right now
Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
Def slept AT the bar last night, wow that's a first!
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
My only expectation is honesty. And three orgasms every time.
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
On a scale of one to liver failure, how bad would it be if I played thunderstruck alone?
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
