The maid of honor just puked.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
we are currently watching a singalong porn...just thought you should know
Sometimes I send them texts like "I want to make you cry and lick up your tears" just to fuck with them. And THAT is how you get rid of a Stage 5 clinger.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
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