This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
im calling her cock vulture from now on
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
When you accidentally type "I want Prince William to fuck me in the ass" to your mom there's really no way to take that back.
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
Just check with her if girls can get blown, that's all.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
do you think eating a burger while having sex counts as multitasking skills?
Drunk sperm are not productive sperm.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
Randomize
