going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
We're too lazy too send a pic of out balls. Just assume this is a pic of our balls and respond accordingly.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
I feel like you just railed me after that sext
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I'm like a camel in the desert in a black hole I'm so thirsty.
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