he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
We had to put his head at the bottom of the driveway so the puke would run down. Now he's sleeping outside.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
im not picky. i just want someone whod go down on me while im writing my psych midterm paper. thats not a lot to ask.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
Just consider it? What else do you have going on today that could be as awesome as a day full of lord of the rings and sex?
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Randomize
